Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Yes, its been a while....

Hello my lovely readers!  I know its been a while (well, over a week) since I last posted.  But, I have a confession.  I've been stressed and down.  Not just the "oh my gosh, I have a project due in 20 minutes and I have about 45 minutes worth of work to put into it" stress....

That can be alleviated.

Its the life stress that has overwhelmed me this semester.  Its the "why do I have to suffer through this...its not fair.....I'm so angry....I'm so sad.....look at poor pitiful me" kind of stress.

I have let my feelings rule myself and those have weighed me down more than I'd like to admit.  I've felt oppressed, stressed, depressed.  I've been angry, hurt, sad, and full of self pity.  I have neglected this blog because I felt too sorry for myself to do anything creative. 1-2 and my roommate have had to feel this and see these fits of despair...that often ends up in figuratively throwing myself under the bus and making myself just feel awful.  It must be awful to see how I have been since the summer.  It was easier to cover up during those months on the wasn't in and work just wasn't so much. 

While I still feel numb, I'm trying to return to life as normal.  I didn't realize sometimes that growing up is so hard.  I've not taken the best care of myself lately.  I've not had the motivation to even eat right (which has not really done anything for my weight or health).  I drag myself through each day.  I'm exhausted every night.  I wake up exhausted every morning.  I get up and start my day all over again. 

I'm trying to get through this.  I have been much more positive.  I have started a relationship with God...and that has given me more peace than I could have ever imagined.  I'm definitely not where I want to be...but thank goodness I'm not where I used to be!  But, some days its really tough.  Today is one of those days.  But, I feel the creativity starting to come back.  I want to cook again...and make fun food.  I will be taking pics tonight...and I couldn't be more excited.  I'm going to Zumba today and dance a bit (funny how shaking the booty just makes you feel better..even if I look ridiculous doing it)

I will have a post up soon...before Friday.  I will be taking more pics this weekend.  I will return back to blogging.  I promise.  Thanks for being patient.  Hope I didn't bore you with my page of text.  Just wanted to get things off my chest. 

I've also discovered Instagram.  I might not return to my camera usage...well, at least for fun shots anyway! 

See ya'll soon!

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